Have you ever watched the show ‘What Would You Do?’ You know, that show where people find themselves in the middle of a conflict and they don’t realize they are being filmed. But the conflict is never real. It’s all staged. In one episode of the show, a pregnant woman is throwing down drinks at a bar (she’s not really pregnant, but the other patrons don’t know that of course). The point of the show is to capture on film the brave individuals who speak up and tell her not to drink as well as the cowardly fools who don’t say anything to her.
Regardless of how the unsuspecting patrons respond, you can always count on one thing. John Quinones, the show’s host, wants to talk to you about the experience. If you are brave, he will treat you like a god. If you are a fool, he will make you feel like you should have never been born.
So why do I bring all this up? Well, in 2012, I had my own ‘What Would You Do?’ moment.
My wife and I were living in St. Louis at the time. She was a nurse and I was in seminary. Some days I would get out of class early and she wouldn’t get home till late. On one of those days, I decided to visit one of my favorite spots–Art Hill. Located in the heart of Forest Park, Art Hill is a big hill in front of the St. Louis Art Museum. But it’s more than that. It’s the kind of place that invites you to come and be. You can find frisbee throwers, hacky-sackers, love birds on picnics, artists, kids, and dreamers enjoying the warm earth, especially in the Spring after the cold Winter.
At the base of the hill is a tranquil fountain, like something out of a Jane Austen novel. Surrounding the fountain are park benches. That is where I liked to go, mostly to read or to people watch.
It was a Spring day and I found my bench. All was well.
There was a couple that came and sat down on the bench directly to my right. There were children throwing pennies into the fountain. An old woman paced slowly around the fountain without a care in the world. I looked at the couple sitting to my right. The woman was wearing a red Louisville Cardinals sweatshirt. The man was wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt and jeans. They were in their late 50’s.
Normally, I wouldn’t remember details like that. But I’ll never forget this couple.
I started to overhear some of the conversation between this couple sitting next to me. It didn’t take me long to realize that they probably were not married because the man kept referring to the woman’s husband.
Uh oh.
My curiosity got the better of me. I started to listen in on their conversation a little more.
The man spoke. “Are you nervous? Don’t worry about your husband.”
The woman stayed silent. She was nervously playing with her wedding ring. She had a look of torment on her face, as if her future hinged on this moment.
And I was sitting on the bench right next to her.
I deduced that this wasn’t a couple after all. This was a man trying to lure a woman into having an affair with him. And she was right on the edge. Or, this was a married couple into some really weird role playing. But that wasn’t likely.
The man leaned in for a kiss. She turned away.
That’s when my internal siren went off. HOLY CRAP IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS HAPPENING!!!
Then I had the thought: “Am I on the show ‘What Would You Do?” I searched around for a camera crew. I thought maybe John Quinones was hiding in a bush, watching my every move, ready to pounce on me if I didn’t say something to this woman.
But this wasn’t a TV show. This was real life. And all the sudden I had to make a decision: Do I say something to this woman or walk away?
The man put his hand on the woman’s knee. That snake.
I started to text some of my friends to get their input. I texted my dad too. I had to emphasize in my texts that THIS IS NOT A JOKE THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!! I got mixed reviews. Some of my friends told me to walk away. Some of them told me to say something. A couple friends asked, “Could you take this guy if he tries to fight you?”
I sized him up. He was small. I could take him.
Then I started to think about how I would feel if I walked away. Would I regret it? Would I be able to sleep that night? Would I always be wondering about it?
After several minutes of weighing the pros and cons, I knew what I had to do. I had to act. So help me God, I had to act!
I’ll never forget what happened next. I stood up from my bench, took two steps to the right, and turned.
Now I was standing in front of them. And if you feel your heart beating inside your chest right now, multiply that by 10,000. That’s what it felt like. Then I spoke.
“Hey guys.”
(Did I really just say, “Hey guys.” That was stupid. I look so stupid. Why am I doing this? Seriously what is wrong with m—)
“CAN WE HELP YOU?” snapped the man, clearly annoyed that I was interrupting his attempt to ruin this woman’s life. No one has ever looked at me with such disgust.
I spoke again.
“Well, I’ve been sitting on this bench here and I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation.”
(Ok, that’s better–get to the point, Mark. Don’t blow this!)
“It sounds like this is the start of an affair.”
They were both dead silent. They weren’t role playing. I then looked directly at the woman.
“If that is the case, I strongly encourage you to walk away from this guy right now.”
The woman started to weep. She looked at me and said,
“Why would you say that to me?” clearly shocked at what was happening.
I looked at her wedding ring. “You are a married woman. This is going to destroy your marriage.”
She nodded as if to agree with me. And then…I walked away. And I didn’t look back. Oh, I wanted to look back. I wanted to rescue her from that jackal. But I couldn’t. I hope I said enough to wake her up from her trance. I’ll never know.
I like to think it would have been super awkward for them after that. What do you say after a random stranger calls you out for trying to lure a woman into an affair? I don’t know! That would be weird.
Sometimes I imagine running into this woman. She will recognize me as the man who pulled her back from the ledge, give me a hug, say “Thank You” and we will both know what that means. I imagine she went back to her husband determined to do the hard work to repair their marriage and now they are more in love than they have ever been.
I can only hope and pray that she didn’t take the leap. What else can you do?
Dodd Squad 