Parenting – Dodd Squad

Recently, I took my daughter to see the movie ‘Ralph Breaks the Internet.’ There’s a scene in the movie that was prominent in the trailer leading up to the movie. The scene goes like this:

Vanellope von Schweetz, the speed racer with a glitch, stumbles into a room filled with Disney princesses. Vanellope claims to be a princess herself. The Disney princesses interrogate that claim by asking a series of questions, eventually leading to THE question,

“Do people assume all your problems got solved because a big strong man showed up?”

Vanellope responds, “Yes!”

The Disney princesses burst into applause, “She is a princess!”

The scene is obviously played for laughs, but it highlights cultural stereotypes about the nature of manhood and womanhood. To be a man means you are the leader and get credit for the work women do. To be a woman means you are dependent on men for your well-being. This scene is attempting to point at the absurdity of this cultural narrative.

And in the age of #metoo, this cultural narrative is falling apart. What the #metoo movement has brought into focus is that WOMEN ARE POWERFUL. Women have voices. They are not background characters. They are not sitting around wells singing, “I’m wishing for the one I love to find me someday.”

I don’t have words to capture the admiration I have for my friends, both men and women, who have come forward with their #metoo stories. I hope that I can have just an ounce of their courage. I am happy that powerful men who have been abusing their power are being stripped of it. There is so much to celebrate when I look at the #metoo movement.

So why do I feel uneasy? And what does all this have to do with parenting?

To answer those questions, let me say something regarding my beliefs about parenting and culture. As a parent, one of my primary responsibilities is to help my kids navigate culture—the good, true, and beautiful, as well as the lies and empty promises. It is hard but necessary work.

With the #metoo movement, culture is changing rapidly. I don’t need news headlines to understand this is the case. I can see it sitting in a movie theater with my daughter watching ‘Ralph Breaks the Internet.’ On the one hand, I’m grateful for the changes in culture. I want young men to think about the consequences of mistreating women. I want grown men to treat women with dignity and respect. I don’t want to live in a world where men get all the credit and women don’t have a voice.

On the other hand, I’m uneasy because culture sways back and forth like a pendulum. It isn’t anchored to any particular narrative. Culture is propelled forward by the ideas that are winning. So if you want to prevent yourself from being swayed to and fro by the culture, you need an anchor. You need a narrative that helps you make sense of the world.

I believe there is a true and better story that helps us make sense of the world.

So let me ask some questions.

If a man claimed to have all power and authority in the world, how would you respond? Maybe you would think I am referring to Donald Trump. But you would probably think that man is delusional.

But what if I told you that this man has never once abused his power? You would probably think that is impossible. Look at the headlines in the news! Powerful men abuse their power all the time!

And what if I told you that this man sees the inherent worth and dignity in every man and woman? Maybe you would think I’m describing a character from a fairy tale.

This is the part where I tell you that I’m not describing Donald Trump or a fictional character. I’m talking about Jesus. Listen to the very last thing he said on the earth to his followers:

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me… (Matthew 28:18).”

That sounds terrifying in a #metoo world. The idea that one man would have all the power sounds like a disaster. But Jesus never once used his power as an opportunity to take advantage of a man or a woman. Think about that. Do you want to know why men and women felt safe around Jesus? He never used his power against them. Not once.

The fact that Jesus says, “All authority has been given to me” is good news for us because Jesus is the only one who will never abuse that power. But don’t forget what took place before Jesus spoke those words. Jesus GAVE UP his power to enter into our broken world. He was born into poverty. He took on the role of a servant. He loved the poor, the widow, and orphan. He dined with sinners and prostitutes. He welcomed men and women to follow him. He died on a cross for the sins of the world and he rose from the dead. All these things transpired before Jesus said, “All authority has been given to me.”

Jesus demonstrated in his life, death, and resurrection that he is the only one who is worthy of all authority. The question that every one of us has to deal with at some point or another is, “Will I surrender to his authority or not?”

My prayer as a parent for my daughters is not just that they will be good students of culture. My prayer is this—that the good news that all authority has been given to Jesus, the only one who will never abuse that power, will be their anchor for life.

Hey friends and family,

This post is going to be a bit longer than normal, but it would mean so much to Holly and I if you took a couple extra minutes out of your day to read it.

I’ll cut right to the chase. Earlier this year we learned that our daughter, Beatrice, has a rare genetic disorder called Rett syndrome. We won’t sugar coat this—it’s not a good diagnosis. Rett syndrome is a regressive disease that almost exclusively affects girls. More than 350,000 girls around the world are living with Rett syndrome.

Rett syndrome is associated with a gene called MECP2 on the X chromosome. When there is a mutation on that gene, it commonly results in Rett syndrome. Beatrice has a deletion on the MECP2 gene, meaning part of that gene is missing. Because of this, Beatrice has experienced delayed development.

We first started noticing delays as early as 9 months when Bea was struggling to sit up, then crawl, then walk. She eventually hit these milestones, but it took longer than most kids. We found out she was delayed in cognitive, language, and motor skills. We so badly wanted to believe that Bea was just developing slowly, but she would eventually catch up. We eventually decided to take her to a neurologist for more clarity. Through lab work, we discovered this deletion on the MECP2 gene.

Typical Rett syndrome looks like a period of normal development followed by regression. Many girls with Rett syndrome lose the ability to walk, talk, and feed themselves. They often lose functioning of their hands. Many develop breathing problems and have seizures. Rett syndrome is often described as autism, cerebral palsy, anxiety disorder, Parkinson’s, and epilepsy all rolled into one. It is a cruel disease.

Beatrice is more atypical because she hasn’t really had a period of normal development that we can point to. Beatrice can walk and is able to use her hands. She has not developed any consistent speech and we are unsure if she ever will.

We know of many girls with Rett syndrome who are in their teen years, 20’s and 30’s who are still able to walk, feed themselves, etc. We are praying that Beatrice will never lose these skills. You can’t really predict if, when, and how regression will happen in Rett. We just won’t know until she gets older. The unknown is hard and it often feels like a heavy weight.

As you can imagine, many tears have been shed over this. Grief has hit us in waves. It’s hard to not dwell on all the things your child won’t be able to do. It’s tempting to go there and want to stay there.

But then we look at all the things Bea can do! She loves books, running in big open fields, swimming, bubbles, eating all kinds of food, laughing, tickling, and we could go on and on. The point is, we love getting to be Bea’s parents! She gives us so much more joy than any heartache we have felt. For every tear that we have shed, there’s been a lot more laughter and joy. We love love love Bea more than words could ever express! She is a treasure and God’s good gift to us.

While there have been moments that we have wrestled with God, we believe that God did not make a mistake when he made Bea. While we did not expect this diagnosis, we believe by faith that God is in control and is working all things for our good.

So before we sign off, we wanted to share one more thing. One of the advantages of Rett syndrome is that a single gene causes it—the MECP2 gene. What this means is that scientists can narrow their research on that gene as they look for a cure for Rett syndrome. So far through Rett research, Rett has been reversed in lab animals and the first human trial for gene therapy is going through FDA approval now and should start next year. Huge progress has been made thus far thanks to research and fund-raising! Holly and I have become involved in an organization called ‘Rett Syndrome Research Trust’ (RSRT). They raise money to fund different labs across the country that are looking for a cure for Rett syndrome. RSRT set a goal to raise $33 million over 3 years to fund this research. Currently, RSRT has $12.8 million left to raise to meet their goal.

We will be involved in fund-raising events in Austin and Kansas City over the next few months. If you have any interest in these events, please let us know. We have included a link below where you can learn more about the research being done, as well as other questions you may have about Rett syndrome.

While we are hopeful for a cure, we don’t place our hope solely in a cure. Our hope is in Christ. We pray that a cure will be found in Bea’s lifetime. That would be amazing! But we know that a cure is coming. Jesus will return in glory. In the new heavens and new earth, there won’t be disease. Friends, we long for that day!

Please feel free to share this as we try to raise awareness about Rett Syndrome. Thanks for taking the time to read this update. We are grateful!

https://reverserett.org